“There are few things
More beautiful in this world
Than a man who knows
How to fully, gently and openly
Take his time
With a woman’s body.”
Does he kiss your skin in patterns that would rival the constellations?
Does he rent a hotel room? Bring you to his home? Come to yours? The car? Outside?
Does he keep the lights on? Dim them low? Flick them off? – So that all you can see are the outlines of your bodies against the glare of his iPhone?
What playlist does he put on? Does he fuck in silence? Does he drop notes of his own?
Does he moan your name? Call you babe? Bitch?
Does his touch make your body expand? Or contract?
When he glides his fingers across your curves, where do his hands rest?
Does he view foreplay as a chore? Does he take his time?
Does he move your head down expecting some from you? Does he part your legs and devour you first?
Does he wait until you’re ready? Does he grab lube? Does he break you in “slow?”
Is he gentle? Is he rough? Does he ask which you prefer? Does he study what makes you shift your weight? How different parts of your body react?
Is he playful? Intense?
How many positions does he put you in? Does he prefer it vanilla? Is he experimental with kink?
Does he strap up? Does he cum in, on, or around you?
When you tell him it’s too much, does he immediately pull back? Or does he make you hold out?
Does he last one song? Two? Three? More? Is he a sprinter? Can he do long distances? Does he recover quickly?
Is his satisfaction intertwined with yours? Or, does he end the show early?
When he asks you how it was – is there doubt or assertiveness in his voice? Is he seeking affirmation, or the truth?
How does he rank against past lovers? Do you ask him how you rank against his?
Does he make you feel comfortable? Shame you? Ask you about past lovers? Your body count?
Does he fetch you a glass of water? Grab you a towel?
Does he massage your back? Run his fingers through your hair? Pillow talk for hours? Or pull the blankets and roll over?
Does he wrap his arms around you? Does he ask you to spoon him as he drifts off?
Does he whisper about the night to his friends?
An Uber driver once told me two substances will always reveal the true character of a man: alcohol and sex.
You can tell a lot about a man by the way he is in bed…
What kind of porn he watches –
If he’s a giver, or a taker,
If he’s arrogant, or insecure,
If he listens, or commands,
If he’s open minded, or an old dog fixed in his tricks,
If he’s a healer, or looking to be saved,
If he’s kind,
If he’s cruel,
If he loves women,
Or if he loves to use them.
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