I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.

Edgar Allan Poe

The older I get, the more I understand the allure of drugs and can appreciate its ubiquity.

The hybrid desire to feel nothing | something.

The control to choose what to feel.

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